When I entered this year, with two of my most favourite people in the entire world, I looked up at the firework display in Piccadilly Gardens and felt elated with joy, super dooper excited to enter the new year. I had no plans, nothing to essentially look forward to at all really, but I was happy in the company I was in and just excited to know that I could afford to buy another drink!
It was only after a few days in 2014. I lulled. Back into this weird thing that I've got going on where as I have an immense amount of free time and nothing in particular to do with it. It's weird though because at a time when I barely had a minute to think I dreaded going back to my, frankly lovely boyfriend. I just needed the time, and the space alone, which being in the relationship that I was in, was impossible.
If anything the only reason I went for a replacement (I wasn't looking, but the only reason I really considered the idea) was because the ending of the relationship coincided with the end of the course I was on. I realised that just because I had settled into the relationship (because it was easy, filled with flaws that I couldn't be bothered to work on because I couldn't deal with the conflict); didn't mean that I had to settle with a course just because it was easy, and I didn't want to deal with a little work.
But really, what was wrong, was the fact that I shouldn't have to deal with both. So I had to make a choice!
I was asked out on a date with a guy I'd fancied the pants off at work, and it felt pretty good, I'm not going to lie.
But I've just sent off my application to UCAS application, and I can imagine that this is what it feels like to be proposed to, considering that most marriages end after 4/5 years anyway, this is the academic version. And this is, without a doubt, the BEST feeling in the world. I feel like I could take on the world! Literally bouncing off the walls and nothing comes even remotely close to this feeling.
Just to consider the fact that I have something to look forward to other than another year of mind-numbingly boring work and disappointing dates is pretty ace.
But no. This year, I'm going to be single, because I fucking love it, I love the fact that I pulled three people on Tuesday night! Yes, one of them was an 18 year old who'd just gotten out of prison, and the other two were fabulous, but very clearly straight girls, but it was awesome, and I ended up on a dear friends sofa, where I belong.
In the meantime I will be getting myself reaquainted with A-level maths and physics, but I have 9 months to kill before the hard work begins. And I will NOT be wasting it away.
Oh my fucking god. I'm game as fuck for the future! Come at me bitch! :D
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