So if that wasn't it, what was wrong?! Then I spoke with my colleague at work who told me that her daughter hadn't had one for two years when she was around my age due to yo-yo dieting.
I have to admit, I had quite a bad body-image for a while, I think it was because my ex called me a whale on several occasions after we broke up, mind you she was a feeder, so it makes sense that by her losing me the only way she could make herself feel better would be to attempt to bring me down due to my weight. Which is ironic due to the fact that even despite my weight gain I was/still am hotter than anyone else she was ever going to get. It's a hard life in the lesbian world, especially when the butch ones try to push all the bisexuals away by labelling them as 'greedy cock-munchers' or whatever.
But yes, I have spent the last few months checking my weight pretty much every day, and I went from eating tiny portions daily, to purging 3 or 4 times a week, and starving the rest. So in hindsight I can see why my body is pissed and took so long to get it's act together.
I think I'm going to have to take the scales out of my room and stop being so obsessive about my weight/appearance, I didn't even think it was that bad but I guess these things kind of manifest themselves on their own.
Well, I am off to cry on my way to work, I hope someone has some painkillers... or alcohol.
Bye! xx
No comments:
Post a Comment