Come Play. .. With the dickface that is your subconscious mind.

I just saw a picture of someone who wasn't particularly nice to me at school with their current spouse and instantaneously thought 'Haha, their other-halves physical appearance is substandard!' (More eloquently worded here of course). And after less than a second after thinking it, I was saddened by the cuntish nature of my own thought.

Earlier today I thought about how much I respected people who were just happy to accept themselves for who they were abd had an 'it is what it is' sort of attitude. But how is it possible when people (apparently I) have the mentality to put people down who are very clearly happy because of childhood pettiness.

Other reasons to be like this are because we envy others for their money/success/lifestyle which is why women's "lifestyle" magazines are so popular. But all this mentality does in the end is bring you down when you realise what a horrible, disgusting person you are on the inside. And that anyone who even thinks like this or even worse speaks out about it needs to have a good hard look in the mirror and rediscover themselves and their heart.

To find happiness and humour in picking apart another person is a hollow and damaging exercise. At least once you're able to acknowledge that you're doing it you can take steps to make a change.

For me it starts by writing it down.

For you I hope it starts with this post.

Let's make a change and grow.

From now on I'm going to spend at least one minute of my day thinking about what makes someone I know beautiful (by nature) and if possible see if I can adopt that mentality or take something from it.

Maybe you can try it too and make the world a little less douchie :)

Till next time,

Much love,

Corky xx

Come Play... With what matters.

Sometimes you find yourself feeling bogged down with your daily commitments. Your job, your bills and rent, possibly your dependants, or lack thereof.

And that's okay. We all feel this way from time to time; living each day just working to survive, and becoming lost.

Feeling sorry for yourself due to your shit job, lack of progression, in work and in life.

For losing people who you were once close with. For having the carpet swept from under your feet and having your world constantly change around you. For losing touch with your close ones. For losing touch with yourself.

The only thing you can do is breathe and take in the world around you. Cherish a beautiful day, or a song you find yourself obsessed with. Lose yourself in your passions and the people you love.

When times get hard, don't give up. Stay true to yourself and what you believe to be right. And stop trying to please everyone, there will be people that you won't see eye to eye with, or people who you drift away from. And that's okay too, because that's life.

The day you stop trying to please everyone around you, is the day you'll find peace. And stay in touch with your family, they're the only people in your life that you don't choose to be around, and the only constant forces in your life.

I hate that I find it so hard to keep in touch, life happens and before you know it your best childhood friend becomes a stranger. Social networking sites are good to let you know that they're doing well, but bad as they stop you from having a reason to ask how they are, what they've been up to?

I spend 40 hours a week in an office doing a job I have grown to dislike, not for the job itself but for the politics involved.  As a part timer I was often forgotten about and just left to do the job. Things were better then.

Everyone tells me to stop worrying, at least when I leave the office. I'm gone.

I am trying so hard to stop being so emotionally-involved in a job which provides little substantial growth and is run by people who don't care about the welfare of their staff.

What should be important to you is the remaining 7 hours of consciousness in your day. To make time for those who care about you. There may come a time when they're no longer in your life, for many reasons, so treasure the moment.

While you still can.

Come Play... With Change & Goodbyes.

My friend left the business I work for today, it feels so weird to think that he won't be around anymore after seeing him about every day or so for the past 8 months. Then I realise how long it's been and how much time has passed since I moved here.

From starting a new adventure, going to uni, then failing and being the saddest I had ever been up to that point, as an adult anyway; to entering the world of work at Missguided, working stupid hours for minimum wage and still having to borrow money from my then-boyfriend just in order to make ends meet.

Then taking my two fingers and sticking them right up at the company which abused my hard-working nature and stifled my potential, and moved on to the world of Laterooms.

There I've met a wider range of people, from different backgrounds, different countries and all with their own stories to tell. I've not left the UK in almost 10 years, yet I've learn't much about the world through their stories and I'd love the opportunity to live them through my own eyes.

Now after he's left it's really hit home that life is full of change, but what's more strange for me is that I'm used to leaving other people's lives, not having it be the other way round, we've got it pretty cushy here, so I partially worry for him and hope he'll be alright without the financial support from working here, but more than that I envy him, for being able to leave, and having a future to look forward to elsewhere, our part of his life has now ended and he's moving on, it's a weird feeling knowing that I'll be stuck in the same place come Thursday evening.

Despite this I know that my time too will come, sooner than I'd like, the past 9 months since I started working at Laterooms have absolutely flown by, especially the last 4, where I went from realising that English wasn't for me and dropping out of college, to visiting MOSI with my dear flatmate and falling in love with aircraft again, to reapplying for university, to receiving my place and confirming it and confirming that in a further 5-7 months time, I'll be living in a new city, starting fresh, doing what I love, finally.

It's a bitter-sweet moment though, as I have become fully comfortable within my surroundings, hating it, but being comfortable nevertheless. I like that I earn just enough to get by, and that I can sleep for 12hrs a day. That every spare day is an opportunity for a new adventure which I'm now taking full advantage of, spending a Friday in Leeds with the most beautiful boy I have ever met, then the following Thurs/Fri taking my beauty of a best friend to my home, and still being able to make it to work for Saturday after getting the bus back to Manchester for 9.30am.

My plan was to get out of debt before I went back to University, now it's to create as many experiences as possible before I leave this city forever.

I am terrified, and have grown to dislike change, but it's one thing in this life you'll never be able to avoid, so I'm doing all I can to attempt to embrace it once again.

But despite this, though things may change, I hope that this is not the end.