Come Play... With what matters.

Sometimes you find yourself feeling bogged down with your daily commitments. Your job, your bills and rent, possibly your dependants, or lack thereof.

And that's okay. We all feel this way from time to time; living each day just working to survive, and becoming lost.

Feeling sorry for yourself due to your shit job, lack of progression, in work and in life.

For losing people who you were once close with. For having the carpet swept from under your feet and having your world constantly change around you. For losing touch with your close ones. For losing touch with yourself.

The only thing you can do is breathe and take in the world around you. Cherish a beautiful day, or a song you find yourself obsessed with. Lose yourself in your passions and the people you love.

When times get hard, don't give up. Stay true to yourself and what you believe to be right. And stop trying to please everyone, there will be people that you won't see eye to eye with, or people who you drift away from. And that's okay too, because that's life.

The day you stop trying to please everyone around you, is the day you'll find peace. And stay in touch with your family, they're the only people in your life that you don't choose to be around, and the only constant forces in your life.

I hate that I find it so hard to keep in touch, life happens and before you know it your best childhood friend becomes a stranger. Social networking sites are good to let you know that they're doing well, but bad as they stop you from having a reason to ask how they are, what they've been up to?

I spend 40 hours a week in an office doing a job I have grown to dislike, not for the job itself but for the politics involved.  As a part timer I was often forgotten about and just left to do the job. Things were better then.

Everyone tells me to stop worrying, at least when I leave the office. I'm gone.

I am trying so hard to stop being so emotionally-involved in a job which provides little substantial growth and is run by people who don't care about the welfare of their staff.

What should be important to you is the remaining 7 hours of consciousness in your day. To make time for those who care about you. There may come a time when they're no longer in your life, for many reasons, so treasure the moment.

While you still can.

Come Play... With Change & Goodbyes.

My friend left the business I work for today, it feels so weird to think that he won't be around anymore after seeing him about every day or so for the past 8 months. Then I realise how long it's been and how much time has passed since I moved here.

From starting a new adventure, going to uni, then failing and being the saddest I had ever been up to that point, as an adult anyway; to entering the world of work at Missguided, working stupid hours for minimum wage and still having to borrow money from my then-boyfriend just in order to make ends meet.

Then taking my two fingers and sticking them right up at the company which abused my hard-working nature and stifled my potential, and moved on to the world of Laterooms.

There I've met a wider range of people, from different backgrounds, different countries and all with their own stories to tell. I've not left the UK in almost 10 years, yet I've learn't much about the world through their stories and I'd love the opportunity to live them through my own eyes.

Now after he's left it's really hit home that life is full of change, but what's more strange for me is that I'm used to leaving other people's lives, not having it be the other way round, we've got it pretty cushy here, so I partially worry for him and hope he'll be alright without the financial support from working here, but more than that I envy him, for being able to leave, and having a future to look forward to elsewhere, our part of his life has now ended and he's moving on, it's a weird feeling knowing that I'll be stuck in the same place come Thursday evening.

Despite this I know that my time too will come, sooner than I'd like, the past 9 months since I started working at Laterooms have absolutely flown by, especially the last 4, where I went from realising that English wasn't for me and dropping out of college, to visiting MOSI with my dear flatmate and falling in love with aircraft again, to reapplying for university, to receiving my place and confirming it and confirming that in a further 5-7 months time, I'll be living in a new city, starting fresh, doing what I love, finally.

It's a bitter-sweet moment though, as I have become fully comfortable within my surroundings, hating it, but being comfortable nevertheless. I like that I earn just enough to get by, and that I can sleep for 12hrs a day. That every spare day is an opportunity for a new adventure which I'm now taking full advantage of, spending a Friday in Leeds with the most beautiful boy I have ever met, then the following Thurs/Fri taking my beauty of a best friend to my home, and still being able to make it to work for Saturday after getting the bus back to Manchester for 9.30am.

My plan was to get out of debt before I went back to University, now it's to create as many experiences as possible before I leave this city forever.

I am terrified, and have grown to dislike change, but it's one thing in this life you'll never be able to avoid, so I'm doing all I can to attempt to embrace it once again.

But despite this, though things may change, I hope that this is not the end.

Come Play... With Aerospace, Moving & Family.

Finally after the last year and a half I have finally realised my true calling, the one which I was fully aware it was for years. After all this time I finally took the plunge and reapplied to go back to university. After several rejections due to my lack of UCAS points due to me doing so piss poor on my BTEC (mind a MP for 43% attendance is an achievement in my book!) I finally received acceptance in the warm arms of Kingston University (I also got in to Salford, but it was design-based, not a field I really want to go into).

I really only applied for the course based on the feedback I got from my friend from college who went there, and through spying through his pictures on his Facebook and seeing how awesome it looked. The course I'm doing is not actually with the University as such, but it is accredited by them. Meaning essentially I'll be working hands on with aircraft of all design, commercial, military, haulage and private. Talk about fucking awesome! The company is called The Marshall Aerospace and Defence Group, you can check out their website for more information on the company: www.marshalladg.com.

Now I'm just terrified to be moving to Cambridge, a beautiful city I'm sure, but I was more excited when I was moving to Manchester, possibly because I was moving into halls and I thought I was going to be safe with the whole uni vibe around me, which to an extent was true. But I guess experience has taught me that you'll never be safe anywhere on your own, which is why moving to a city, where I don't know ANYBODY, and with no student accommodation in sight; kinda terrifies me.

I've been viewing flats on Zoopla and the like, and the rents are amazingly reasonable, although this is another thing that scares me, considering that it's down south, why am I able to find all-inclusive accommodation for under £80 per week? I already feel some sort of catch coming on.

But on the upside I'll be a hell of a lot closer to my friends and family, with London only being 20mins away, which is also a significant reason why I chose to go, since my 2 year old sister doesn't even know who I am, I don't want to be just another long lost relative who sends her easter eggs and a card with money in it on her birthday, I'd really like to be a part of her life and bestow all my worldly knowledge to her to ensure that she doesn't make the same mistakes that I have, or doesn't NEED to in any case. (If she's anything like me it'll likely not stop her, but I could have done with a heads up on what I was getting myself into on many occasions!)

All in all though I'm feeling really excited for the future, if not a little apprehensive, though I guess that's good in a way, I must be growing up as each day I become more fearful of the world.

Here's to the next chapter!

Come Play 'Off The Rails'

I spent this weekend down canal street during pride celebrating boys walking around in skimpy underwear and men being fabulous. Along with all the joys that come along with the gay parade during gay pride in Manchester.

After which I ended up going for dinner with my friend Ashley and we ended up having quite a deep conversation.

One particular topic crossed our otherwise fairly light-hearted conversation, with regards to an old friend of his who 'went off the rails' after they finished school, and why they no longer speak.

The way he described her was astonishing as it sounded so much like myself, so much so that I felt the need to discuss it in detail.

For a change of scenery this time I decided to do a VLog for this entry. Please watch the video attached below. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

If you can't be bothered to watch it all, essentially the moral is, don't let go of your friends because they aren't necessarily on the path you expect them to be on. Just be kind, and be there when their world starts to fall. That's what friends are for. And I thank every last one of you who've put up with me all these years.

xx