It's funny how every relationship/encounter that I've ever had with someone of whom I had a significant instant attraction to always becomes awkward as fuck. It's weird, if you're yourself, just standard goofy little you, you always attract the attention of members of the opposite sex (I specifically say opposite as this does not apply to me personally with same-sex encounters), and when you click on that they might find you endearing then you start to go weird.
Why is it that regardless of who you are or who they are, you become lost for words, suddenly you watch what you say and become worried about what they may think! And before you know it you no longer have anything left to say at all and you're stuck trying to save what it was that you found attractive about them in the first place to find that it was lost somewhere amongst the lust and the butterflies.
It's a sad state of affairs when you become so consumed with lust that you place someone on a pedestal of whom has no place there, and you find yourself changing and HATE it. You're constantly bashing your head against a brick wall trying to remember who you were and to become that bright spark that lighten's their day, to find that you've become an overbearing nag desperate for attention.
What is it about the human brain which makes you instantly feel the need to change yourself once you have identified the current object of your desires? (note how I've used the word object, because they are no longer human, you can no longer identify with them on a personal level and you must now treat them with the utmost tenderness and care, like a Chanel bag.)
I haven't done this in a very long time (baring in mind that I've deliberately dated people that are not necessarily as 'physically' attractive as myself to prevent this) yet now I've decided that I actually would like to be physically attracted to my next lover, I know it's going to come at a cost because this is something embedded into my DNA since the dawn of time.
I shall be sure to do all I can to switch this off, although I know the only way that'll be possible is to never have a relationship. Which is probably best right now. It's just going to be weird since I've been solidly pretty much in long-term relationships since 2010, but I guess we've all got to start somewhere!
To being single! Woo! (Bored already) xx
Showing posts with label Companionship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Companionship. Show all posts
Wednesday, 27 November 2013
Tuesday, 29 October 2013
Come play with... Companionship.
At work the other day I had a very interesting discussion with a very sweet elderly lady.
She needed to have some accommodation booked as she was travelling down south to attend the funeral of a dear friend that she had known since she was 11 years old.
In typical helpful Corkin-Style I managed to get her into a bridal suite for a price of a standard double, in order to hope that some comfort my come from her stay. She said if it's really nice she might just extend her stay a few days. It's really nice how in her older years she has the freedom to make (or not make as the case was) decisions for herself. Without the need to contemplate the needs of others.
Though our discussion we covered many topics, many of which my colleague believed to be inappropriate. I merely believed that it was inappropriate for him to be listening in and should have bloody well minded his own business. But anyway...
One topic which came up was love, or the true rarity of it in it's purest form in this life. I found it strange how honest she was about it, and she made a point that...
'Young people these days spend too long waiting for the 'one' to come along. In the meantime their life flashes before their eyes and once they hit my age they become sad, lonely, bitter old women. In the end, all you need is someone to share the space with, who doesn't annoy you too much and who, if your lucky, makes you laugh. Due to the shift in gender roles over the past few decades women believe that due to the fact that they earn roughly the same if not more than men, and are completely able to depend on themselves financially, that they shouldn't need to settle. But inside the grand apartment, behind the designer clothes and underneath the expensive makeup. We all get lonely.'
Wow. Who can honestly say that that sad, and painfully truthful statement doesn't change the way that you look at your past/present relationships? Possibly even, the relationship between your parents and your grandparents... etc?
I guess life is as real as it gets. No fantasies here. And should you feel happy? Or relieved? To understand that there ISN'T someone out there just for you? The grass will never be greener? And to make the most of your given situation?
Or sad that the illusive lover who should one day sweep your off your feet and take your hand as you run away together into the sunset; is nothing other than fiction? If anything, by thinking about this in more detail, it does make the idealistic view of true love seem, almost, juvenile, doesn't it?
She needed to have some accommodation booked as she was travelling down south to attend the funeral of a dear friend that she had known since she was 11 years old.
In typical helpful Corkin-Style I managed to get her into a bridal suite for a price of a standard double, in order to hope that some comfort my come from her stay. She said if it's really nice she might just extend her stay a few days. It's really nice how in her older years she has the freedom to make (or not make as the case was) decisions for herself. Without the need to contemplate the needs of others.
Though our discussion we covered many topics, many of which my colleague believed to be inappropriate. I merely believed that it was inappropriate for him to be listening in and should have bloody well minded his own business. But anyway...
One topic which came up was love, or the true rarity of it in it's purest form in this life. I found it strange how honest she was about it, and she made a point that...
'Young people these days spend too long waiting for the 'one' to come along. In the meantime their life flashes before their eyes and once they hit my age they become sad, lonely, bitter old women. In the end, all you need is someone to share the space with, who doesn't annoy you too much and who, if your lucky, makes you laugh. Due to the shift in gender roles over the past few decades women believe that due to the fact that they earn roughly the same if not more than men, and are completely able to depend on themselves financially, that they shouldn't need to settle. But inside the grand apartment, behind the designer clothes and underneath the expensive makeup. We all get lonely.'
Wow. Who can honestly say that that sad, and painfully truthful statement doesn't change the way that you look at your past/present relationships? Possibly even, the relationship between your parents and your grandparents... etc?
I guess life is as real as it gets. No fantasies here. And should you feel happy? Or relieved? To understand that there ISN'T someone out there just for you? The grass will never be greener? And to make the most of your given situation?
Or sad that the illusive lover who should one day sweep your off your feet and take your hand as you run away together into the sunset; is nothing other than fiction? If anything, by thinking about this in more detail, it does make the idealistic view of true love seem, almost, juvenile, doesn't it?
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