Come Play with Box of Light.

Come Play... With le Bombay.

Isn't it funny how most music we listen to these days is pretty standard, bouncy bouncy type tunes which may make you feel good, but have no lasting impression on you whatsoever? Then, through the pit of despair of which makes up the current music scene, a song will emerge which touches your heart and leaves a profound emotional footprint which you cannot shake and merely grows stronger with every play.

I found this song a while back if I'm honest, but I thought it would be worth mentioning even just to see if anyone else felt the same? Maybe everyone will have just a select few songs which makes them feel certain emotions which are specific to the individual, and no two people will feel identical after listening to it?

The song with which this entry regards to is a song called 'Leaving Blues' by Bombay Bicycle Club. The weird thing about this song is every time I listen to it I feel this intense sadness and homesickness which I could never have anticipated experiencing. The thing is, I left Newcastle, and my friends & family there, 2 years ago, so why do I miss them so much, now specifically? After all this time?

I've never felt true homesickness like this, it's strange, even when I left everything I knew in London and moved up north, I never felt this way. I feared leaving while I was still there, but after a long train journey up with all my belongings, and about 3 weeks sleep due to being drugged on oxygen, I had pretty much forgotten all about London, until I was 15/16 at least.

If anything, by writing this I feel a trend developing, it's as if after spending a few years away from where you came, you analyse your life and question as to why you left in the first place? I fought it when addressing this feeling first time round, as I felt like I was forced to leave London without a choice, I grew bitter with the situation despite knowing deep down it was the best decision that was ever made for me.

But now as this particular move was my choice and mine alone, I find myself torn between wanting to go back to Newcastle, back to my old life, when I was younger, my friends were all still around and I could handle my drink better; and the bright flashing lights of London and all the hope and success that I may find there. After being fine all this time, I'm struggling to be happy where I am, here in Manchester, despite the wonderful people I have met and have the privilege to call my friends & partner.

I guess history is just repeating itself, and I need to look into this a little more carefully to prevent repeated mistakes.

Well thank you very much Bombay Bicycle Club!

In case you hadn't yet heard this beautiful song, please check out the video below. It's truly moving.

Now your back's to the road

The waiting's everything you know

I'm sure you know that I'm leaving

Riding home everyday

Sure in a cinematic way

Breathing the smoke of the train

Keep the thought of you aflame

I'm sure you know that I'm leaving

Curse God for my regret

I miss you indefinite

Not once did I think that

Love would stay til I come back

Now your back's to the road

The waiting's everything you know

I'm sure you know that I'm leaving

Bye, until next time...

Corky xx

Come Play with Materialistic Things.

Dior

I found that, since my late teens at least, I have become obsessed with materialism and all things sparkly and chic. I guess I could blame this on my old flatmate for introducing me to Sex and the City, aged 17. 

From there I decided that I wanted to become Carrie and move to New York and become awesome in whatever it was that I decided to pursue. It even got so bad that I would end relationships over extremely silly things as I yearned for the 'single girl' lifestyle, which in real life never came to fruition. I would just end up jumping into a new relationship within a few months and the cycle would continue. 

I always wanted to be the independent woman who went out for lunch every day and could sustain a luxurious lifestyle with very little effort and hard work. It's funny though because despite the fact that I wanted to live the idolised 'single, independent, glamorous' lifestyle depicted in the TV show; with mountains of designers, the latest one being more fabulous than the last, I never realised that, for 3 of the main characters at least, all they ever wanted deep down was to find 'true love'. 

I never understood really why the characters were never truly fulfilled despite their success and beautiful outfits and trinkets. It is only later that I realised that all these things are a show for the lack of personal achievement in their lives. It's what you wear that is important, not what you do.

After thinking about this I was in a little musical mood and wrote a song about it, it depicts the lack of emotional empathy with the way in which we obtain these items which give us a so-called pillar to stand on and therefore be the envy of our peers. 

It's written ironically just in case it upsets anyone. It's called Diamonds.

I see my reflection

In the Dior window

All I can see, is envy in me

Of who I would like to be.

Success it costs nothing

Except hard work and graft

But what is the use, any work I refuse

All I want are Jimmy Choos.

I want all things sparkling

I need all things glimmering

Beautiful diamond rings

These are my everything.

People die for these stones

This ensures their worth

I should feel bad, but I’m kind of glad

They’re the best love I’ve ever had.

Labels, designers

Sweatshops rule the land

But I do not care, just that they take care,

When sewing my brand new bag

I want all things sparkling,

I need all things glimmering

Beautiful diamond rings

These are my everything.

Ignorance is bliss,

Move out the homeless

Living in bubbleland

Where everything is grand

There is no poverty

All these things might as well be free

Cheating my way, into the next day

With nothing ever worrying me

I want all things sparkling,

I need all things glimmering

Beautiful diamond rings

These are my everything.

These are my everything.